2008 Woodie Awards
Campus Briefs
Valentine's Day, the new St. Patrick's Day
Dan Roy
Issue date: 2/19/04 Section: Campus
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2/9 - A Gregory student reported his door had been damaged at 4:18 p.m. Monday. Upon inspection, it appeared the door was forced open, breaking the lock. Nothing in the room was stolen, and there are no suspects as of yet. Hmmm, the lock was broken on the door, but nothing from the room was taken, and the student reported it in the middle of the afternoon. I'm going to go out on a limb and say the student locked himself out of his room, and instead of finding an RA to open it, he busted down the door. Call me crazy ... "You're crazy!" Thank you, but I think this case just solved itself.
2/10 - A half-naked male was seen running around Lower West Cedar at 9:25 p.m. Tuesday. He was asking people if he could use their cell phone. Security came and found that the man had run away from the psychiatric ward in St. Francis and was returned immediately. Now, past experience tells me not to write a joke that makes fun of the less fortunate. But hey, I'm a slow learner ... Yo buddy, my cell phone just rang and it was for you. It was Corky. He said he wants his pants back.
2/12 - A fire alarm was set off in Lower West Cedar P-Block at 1:10 p.m. Thursday. The fire department responded and found an over-cooked taco to be the source of the fire. A fireman explained the situation, "Yeah, the extra cheese on the taco is what caused it to flare up."
2/13 - Cupid obviously missed this next vandal. At 3:35 a.m. security reported that a student ripped up the Valentine's Day decorations from a bulletin board in Midrise. Since the attack, the President's Day bulletin board has been under high surveillance by security. In an official statement, a security officer said, "No February holiday is safe while this student is on the loose."
2/14 - An intoxicated student was stopped as he attempted to exit Champagnat at 11 p.m. Saturday. The entry desk officer sensed a little too much drunkenness, so the student was taken to St. Francis. That really stinks man. Hatters was hopping that night.
2/10 - A half-naked male was seen running around Lower West Cedar at 9:25 p.m. Tuesday. He was asking people if he could use their cell phone. Security came and found that the man had run away from the psychiatric ward in St. Francis and was returned immediately. Now, past experience tells me not to write a joke that makes fun of the less fortunate. But hey, I'm a slow learner ... Yo buddy, my cell phone just rang and it was for you. It was Corky. He said he wants his pants back.
2/12 - A fire alarm was set off in Lower West Cedar P-Block at 1:10 p.m. Thursday. The fire department responded and found an over-cooked taco to be the source of the fire. A fireman explained the situation, "Yeah, the extra cheese on the taco is what caused it to flare up."
2/13 - Cupid obviously missed this next vandal. At 3:35 a.m. security reported that a student ripped up the Valentine's Day decorations from a bulletin board in Midrise. Since the attack, the President's Day bulletin board has been under high surveillance by security. In an official statement, a security officer said, "No February holiday is safe while this student is on the loose."
2/14 - An intoxicated student was stopped as he attempted to exit Champagnat at 11 p.m. Saturday. The entry desk officer sensed a little too much drunkenness, so the student was taken to St. Francis. That really stinks man. Hatters was hopping that night.