2008 Woodie Awards
Campus Briefs:
Entry officers on the lookout
Dan Roy
Issue date: 9/16/04 Section: Campus
*** I've got some more notices for everyone. Tampering with fire equipment on campus is strictly prohibited. Think of it as smoking at a movie theater. A student caught doing this will suffer strict disciplinary action or arrest. Another thing, do not prop open your townhouse doors with bricks or stones. We've been through this before. I know it is easier to come and go, but we don't want just anyone coming and going. Capisce? Now finish your macaroni. ***
9/7 - "Ok just one more problem, and then I'll go to the bathroom. Two divided by one is ... two. Boy I love Excursions." That was the last math problem that poor boy did with his calculator at 10:00 a.m. Tuesday. He went to the library's bathroom, never to return again. And by never return again, I mean his calculator was stolen.
9/9 - ... Or do I? Another theft took place at 4:00 p.m. that same day. An unchained bike was stolen from in front of Gartland E block. What goes around comes around, Gartland E. You want to drink? We'll take your bike!
9/10 - Our first alcohol incident occurred at 1:44 a.m. Friday in the rear of Gregory. Eight students were found partying with 14 empty Bud Lights and one full one. I feel bad for the person who had to clean up that mess.
9/10 - How do some kids get accepted to this school? At 1:15 p.m. a Leo student attempted to disable the smoke detector in his room. Call me crazy, but is that not one of the dumbest things anyone can do in life? That alarm is there to save your life, and you want to disable it. Did we forget what happened at Seton Hall four years ago? I'll remind you. They added a knitting class to the fashion department.
9/10 - The Champagnat entry desk officer spotted something a little funky at 11:07 p.m. A student was carrying an abnormally heavy bag for that time of night, so the guard checked it out. Just as he suspected, he found the first three seasons of Friends on DVD. Unfortunately, the guard then noticed 20 cans of Bud Light underneath the DVDs. What rotten luck!
9/7 - "Ok just one more problem, and then I'll go to the bathroom. Two divided by one is ... two. Boy I love Excursions." That was the last math problem that poor boy did with his calculator at 10:00 a.m. Tuesday. He went to the library's bathroom, never to return again. And by never return again, I mean his calculator was stolen.
9/9 - ... Or do I? Another theft took place at 4:00 p.m. that same day. An unchained bike was stolen from in front of Gartland E block. What goes around comes around, Gartland E. You want to drink? We'll take your bike!
9/10 - Our first alcohol incident occurred at 1:44 a.m. Friday in the rear of Gregory. Eight students were found partying with 14 empty Bud Lights and one full one. I feel bad for the person who had to clean up that mess.
9/10 - How do some kids get accepted to this school? At 1:15 p.m. a Leo student attempted to disable the smoke detector in his room. Call me crazy, but is that not one of the dumbest things anyone can do in life? That alarm is there to save your life, and you want to disable it. Did we forget what happened at Seton Hall four years ago? I'll remind you. They added a knitting class to the fashion department.
9/10 - The Champagnat entry desk officer spotted something a little funky at 11:07 p.m. A student was carrying an abnormally heavy bag for that time of night, so the guard checked it out. Just as he suspected, he found the first three seasons of Friends on DVD. Unfortunately, the guard then noticed 20 cans of Bud Light underneath the DVDs. What rotten luck!