2008 Woodie Awards
SECURITY BRIEFS
And what's the deal with Oprah? I mean, she's fat, she's thin, she's fat, she's thin, why can't she pick a body and stick with it?! Thanks, try the veal!
Alex Panagiotopoulos
Issue date: 10/27/05 Section: Campus
- Page 1 of 3 next >
Dear Reader,
You probably noticed last week's headline, "I don't want to do these briefs anymore." Therefore, I'm going away for a while. Just remember the sage last words of Vigo the Carpathian, recorded just before he died in 1610. "Death is but a door, time is but a window. I'll be back."
This is a contest to determine the new writer. Every Marist student can vote once a round for their favorite contestant. Using your MARIST E-MAIL ADDRESS, send your votes to briefscontest@gmail.com by Sunday at midnight. Next week we'll narrow the field to three, and then to two.
- Alex Panagiotopoulos
10/13 5:50 P.M.
Townhouse B
The fire department responded to an alarm caused by a towel sitting on a stove. There was no damage.
Daniel Carruthers: I know what you're thinking, why on earth would you try and cook a towel
but hey, it still beats the food in the dining hall.
10/13 11:10 P.M. Champagnat
An RA caught a whiff of
marijuana smoke and found two students imbibing. A small amount of the "stickiest of the icky" was confiscated and turned over to local police.
Brian Sabella: So either Ted Nugent is back or those crazy Champagnat kids are just plain bouncing off the walls these days. An RA smelled some marijuana in the halls and confiscated it from the would be members of Snoop Dog's posse. The wacky-tobaccy was "turned over" to the police who will "enter it" into "evidence."
Daniel Carruthers: That's the last time we let Snoop Dogg write up the security briefs.
10/14 2:14 A.M. Midrise
An unauthorized guest blew by the security guard but was caught inside the building. He was from the Culinary Institute.
Andrew Slafta: Although caught, the student said this was much more successful then his first attempt. Listing your name as the Hamburglar and using a recipe for Cordon Bleu as an ID is apparently much less successful.
10/14 4:01 A.M. Marian
A boyfriend/girlfriend argument was broken up.
You probably noticed last week's headline, "I don't want to do these briefs anymore." Therefore, I'm going away for a while. Just remember the sage last words of Vigo the Carpathian, recorded just before he died in 1610. "Death is but a door, time is but a window. I'll be back."
This is a contest to determine the new writer. Every Marist student can vote once a round for their favorite contestant. Using your MARIST E-MAIL ADDRESS, send your votes to briefscontest@gmail.com by Sunday at midnight. Next week we'll narrow the field to three, and then to two.
- Alex Panagiotopoulos
10/13 5:50 P.M.
Townhouse B
The fire department responded to an alarm caused by a towel sitting on a stove. There was no damage.
Daniel Carruthers: I know what you're thinking, why on earth would you try and cook a towel
but hey, it still beats the food in the dining hall.
10/13 11:10 P.M. Champagnat
An RA caught a whiff of
marijuana smoke and found two students imbibing. A small amount of the "stickiest of the icky" was confiscated and turned over to local police.
Brian Sabella: So either Ted Nugent is back or those crazy Champagnat kids are just plain bouncing off the walls these days. An RA smelled some marijuana in the halls and confiscated it from the would be members of Snoop Dog's posse. The wacky-tobaccy was "turned over" to the police who will "enter it" into "evidence."
Daniel Carruthers: That's the last time we let Snoop Dogg write up the security briefs.
10/14 2:14 A.M. Midrise
An unauthorized guest blew by the security guard but was caught inside the building. He was from the Culinary Institute.
Andrew Slafta: Although caught, the student said this was much more successful then his first attempt. Listing your name as the Hamburglar and using a recipe for Cordon Bleu as an ID is apparently much less successful.
10/14 4:01 A.M. Marian
A boyfriend/girlfriend argument was broken up.