2008 Woodie Awards
SECURITY BRIEFS: No one ever does anything original on this campus
Andrew Moll
Issue date: 11/30/06 Section: Campus
Hi everybody. Long time, no see. Hope you all had a Happy Thanksgiving. And now, upon my return, I present you all with an exciting opportunity. Today's Security Briefs feature old briefs simply copy and pasted in (albeit, with some of the details changed). So, if you can figure out which ones are copies, e-mail me the answers, and you can get your name in next week's Security Briefs! How can you not like that?! Consider this a challenge to you, dear reader. (Note: I would offer money, but the money in our budget is being used to fund Eric Zedalis' meals when he goes to the MAAC championship in March. Sorry.)
11/13 - 12:30 PM
In the Beck parking lot, a car was reported with the mirror broken. I'm not exactly sure why an individual would do this, unless the owner of the car really deserved it. But still, it's the principles of it all. I have this image of a movie or TV show where someone is on the roof of a car, hitting it with a golf club or something, and I apply that to this situation. I'm not sure if that show or movie actually exists, however. I very well may have made it up. For some reason, it sounds like an Adam Sandler movie. Which of course means I probably didn't see the movie in the first place.
11/13 - 4:25 PM
In Champagnat Hall, a student reported that their iPod had been stolen. I may have mentioned this before, but if I ever lost my iPod, that would be the end for me, I wouldn't know what to do. Without the feel-good sounds of the Arctic Monkeys blasting in my ears, there's basically no reason to go anywhere. In fact, the only reason I go to class is so I can listen to my iPod on the way there.
11/14 - 2:45 PM
On Fulton St., at the location where the Beck lot exits onto the street, a van by an employee was involved in a collision with a car driven by a student. The student suffered minor injuries, and was treated at the scene. Speaking of which, I read in an interview with Tom Waits that apparently there are only two things that you can legally throw out of a moving car: Water, and feathers. You learn something new every day.
11/13 - 12:30 PM
In the Beck parking lot, a car was reported with the mirror broken. I'm not exactly sure why an individual would do this, unless the owner of the car really deserved it. But still, it's the principles of it all. I have this image of a movie or TV show where someone is on the roof of a car, hitting it with a golf club or something, and I apply that to this situation. I'm not sure if that show or movie actually exists, however. I very well may have made it up. For some reason, it sounds like an Adam Sandler movie. Which of course means I probably didn't see the movie in the first place.
11/13 - 4:25 PM
In Champagnat Hall, a student reported that their iPod had been stolen. I may have mentioned this before, but if I ever lost my iPod, that would be the end for me, I wouldn't know what to do. Without the feel-good sounds of the Arctic Monkeys blasting in my ears, there's basically no reason to go anywhere. In fact, the only reason I go to class is so I can listen to my iPod on the way there.
11/14 - 2:45 PM
On Fulton St., at the location where the Beck lot exits onto the street, a van by an employee was involved in a collision with a car driven by a student. The student suffered minor injuries, and was treated at the scene. Speaking of which, I read in an interview with Tom Waits that apparently there are only two things that you can legally throw out of a moving car: Water, and feathers. You learn something new every day.
Be the first to comment on this story