2008 Woodie Awards
security briefs: Students return, bringing unregistered guests along (!)
Andrew Moll
Issue date: 1/25/07 Section: Campus
Welcome back everybody to another semester here at Marist and another semester of the Security Briefs. For the uninitiated, this is the section of The Circle where a snarky columnist pokes fun at all the security incidents on campus over the previous week. And let me introduce myself; my name is Andrew, and I am the aforementioned snarky columnist. Thanks for reading.
Before we get started on the briefs, let's talk about some things. First, a four week winter vacation? Not too bad. A two week winter vacation followed by a two week winter course? Ehhhh. Secondly, Peyton Manning. Seriously. That happened? Really? And he's facing Rex Grossman of all people in the Super Bowl? What? My head hurts just thinking about it. As a Giants fan, I would have expected Eli to be the first Manning to make it.(That's a lie. As a Giants fan, I expect Eli to throw balls into the ground and look like a kid who just got told that there's a pop quiz in spelling today.) Anywho, let's get to the briefs.
1/4 - 9:45 P.M.
Up at Fulton, a fire alarm went off in one of the houses due to steam emanating from a shower. This person must have been in the shower for quite a long time to let this happen. I enjoy staying in the shower for a while as much as the next person, but I know my limits. Also, a court mandate says I can be naked for only a small percentage of each day, so I have to do things wisely.
1/7 - 8:30 A.M.
A fire alarm was set off in Gartland early one morning, and the fire department arrived on the scene to make sure everything was OK. This time, it was because of burnt Eggo's. I would make a "Leggo my Eggo's" joke, but I'm better than that. At least I think so. Ahh, who am I kidding? Leggo my Eggo's. Ha!
1/8 - 1:30 A.M.
At the Champagnat residence hall, a guest attempted to gain entry to the dorm with an unauthorized ID, and were subsequently escorted from the premises. I don't want to give anything away here, but just to let you know, you may see this situation pop up again before I'm through.
Before we get started on the briefs, let's talk about some things. First, a four week winter vacation? Not too bad. A two week winter vacation followed by a two week winter course? Ehhhh. Secondly, Peyton Manning. Seriously. That happened? Really? And he's facing Rex Grossman of all people in the Super Bowl? What? My head hurts just thinking about it. As a Giants fan, I would have expected Eli to be the first Manning to make it.(That's a lie. As a Giants fan, I expect Eli to throw balls into the ground and look like a kid who just got told that there's a pop quiz in spelling today.) Anywho, let's get to the briefs.
1/4 - 9:45 P.M.
Up at Fulton, a fire alarm went off in one of the houses due to steam emanating from a shower. This person must have been in the shower for quite a long time to let this happen. I enjoy staying in the shower for a while as much as the next person, but I know my limits. Also, a court mandate says I can be naked for only a small percentage of each day, so I have to do things wisely.
1/7 - 8:30 A.M.
A fire alarm was set off in Gartland early one morning, and the fire department arrived on the scene to make sure everything was OK. This time, it was because of burnt Eggo's. I would make a "Leggo my Eggo's" joke, but I'm better than that. At least I think so. Ahh, who am I kidding? Leggo my Eggo's. Ha!
1/8 - 1:30 A.M.
At the Champagnat residence hall, a guest attempted to gain entry to the dorm with an unauthorized ID, and were subsequently escorted from the premises. I don't want to give anything away here, but just to let you know, you may see this situation pop up again before I'm through.
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