2008 Woodie Awards
There are no jokes about horses in here this week
Andrew Moll
Issue date: 2/1/07 Section: Campus
1/27
At the Gartland E block, an intoxicated student was evaluated by Fairview, and was allowed to return home instead of going to St. Francis. Allow me to know tell a story about my life. Not a story, per se, but just more stuff to fill space. I learned over this past Christmas break that I hate alcohol. Maybe not all alcohol, but specifically beer. As I was finishing a semi-cold Coors Light, I made the decision to never drink beer again. Now, I'm not sure if this will last, but I kind of hope it does. Although, if I do drink, I'm only going for the best stuff; like Big Bear, Wildcat, and Busch. My money is going to be spent wisely.
1/27 - 10:20 P.M.
Going back to Gartland E, ten cans of Bud Lite were found in a house and taken away. This is what I'm talking about people. Spending all that money for something that will be taken from you, and isn't that good in the first place. I'll give you all a hint. Here's something I had the other night for the first time in a long time: Root beer. And it was excellent. And legal. And safe. That's all I need.
1/27
It was a busy Saturday for Gartland E as some students were spotted attempting to bring in alcohol to their house. A twelve-pack of Coors Light and 14 loose cans were confiscated at the scene. I think I've made my point clear about this.
1/28 - 12:30 A.M.
A party at Talmadge was briefly interrupted until it was discovered that everyone in attendance was 21 or older, so the party was allowed to continue if the noise was lowered. Besides, as well know, there ain't no party like a Talmadge party, 'cause a Talmadge party don't stop.
1/28
We come back to our new favorite destination, Gartland E. A visitor was spotted in the Gartland Commons(Is that the official name of Gartland, or the grassy area in the middle? Someone help me here. Because if it's the latter, that's kind of sad.), and they were carrying a thirty pack of Keystone Light. I have friends at home who only drink Keystone Ice. And you wonder why I hate beer.
1/28 - 2:00 A.M.
In the Sheahan parking lot, an off-campus student was arrested by the Po-Town police for DWI. This is pretty serious stuff. At least he didn't go all Mel Gibson on them, that's good.
Allow me another opportunity to go off on a tangent. I am very happy I made no jokes about Barbaro in this space.It's a moral victory, I think.
At the Gartland E block, an intoxicated student was evaluated by Fairview, and was allowed to return home instead of going to St. Francis. Allow me to know tell a story about my life. Not a story, per se, but just more stuff to fill space. I learned over this past Christmas break that I hate alcohol. Maybe not all alcohol, but specifically beer. As I was finishing a semi-cold Coors Light, I made the decision to never drink beer again. Now, I'm not sure if this will last, but I kind of hope it does. Although, if I do drink, I'm only going for the best stuff; like Big Bear, Wildcat, and Busch. My money is going to be spent wisely.
1/27 - 10:20 P.M.
Going back to Gartland E, ten cans of Bud Lite were found in a house and taken away. This is what I'm talking about people. Spending all that money for something that will be taken from you, and isn't that good in the first place. I'll give you all a hint. Here's something I had the other night for the first time in a long time: Root beer. And it was excellent. And legal. And safe. That's all I need.
1/27
It was a busy Saturday for Gartland E as some students were spotted attempting to bring in alcohol to their house. A twelve-pack of Coors Light and 14 loose cans were confiscated at the scene. I think I've made my point clear about this.
1/28 - 12:30 A.M.
A party at Talmadge was briefly interrupted until it was discovered that everyone in attendance was 21 or older, so the party was allowed to continue if the noise was lowered. Besides, as well know, there ain't no party like a Talmadge party, 'cause a Talmadge party don't stop.
1/28
We come back to our new favorite destination, Gartland E. A visitor was spotted in the Gartland Commons(Is that the official name of Gartland, or the grassy area in the middle? Someone help me here. Because if it's the latter, that's kind of sad.), and they were carrying a thirty pack of Keystone Light. I have friends at home who only drink Keystone Ice. And you wonder why I hate beer.
1/28 - 2:00 A.M.
In the Sheahan parking lot, an off-campus student was arrested by the Po-Town police for DWI. This is pretty serious stuff. At least he didn't go all Mel Gibson on them, that's good.
Allow me another opportunity to go off on a tangent. I am very happy I made no jokes about Barbaro in this space.It's a moral victory, I think.
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