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Guy Code- what do guys really mean when they say...

By Alex Spiess
On April 11, 2013

  • What does his text really mean?. yuichirock/flickr

It's pretty clear that guys and girls communicate in different ways.  Especially at Marist, trying to read a text past three AM can be like trying to read hieroglyphics from 30 yards away.  Regardless of the context, text communicating between the opposite sex, is way harder than it looks.  Not to mention the disconnect guys and girls have when it comes to digital vernacular.  Girls have a hard enough time trying to genuinely compliment each other in person, so imagine how difficult it is to understand what a guy is really trying to say in a five-word text message. Interpreting the meaning of texts is filled with enough jargon they could write a book about it.  But they don't, so luckily we have the circle to enlighten Marist on what guys really mean to say in their misconstrued texts.  It's no 'Cosmo', but who wants to pay five dollars to hear a 54 year old female marriage counselor explain the thought process of a man anyway?  That's like me writing a blog about what to expect in your third trimester. 

I digress.  First of all, the context of the conversation is as important to the situation as what's actually being said.  The basic foundation for interpreting texts as accurately as possible can be found in three simple steps.  One, understand what time it is; this is crucial in terms of contextual understanding.   For example, saying "Hey" at 12:00 PM usually means something completely different than saying "Hey" at 12:00AM.  Saying "Hey" as a classic afternoon conversation starter could simply mean just that.  But if you get the H-Bomb anywhere in the late PM's or early AM's, best believe it comes included with a little extra incentive than just a nightcap conversation before bed.  The second step is 'Know Your Man'.  If you're texting someone you just met, or someone who is new to you, play things a little more conservative.  Middle school health class teachers always said not to judge or stereotype people, but they also said that if you had sex, you would get syphilis...and die.  Point is, if you want to fully understand what he's saying to you, pigeon hole that kid until you have a solid idea of what he's about. Is he a jock, artsy, bro-tastic, shallow, deep, poetic, brutish, hipster?  Gather what you can about this kid; give him generic responses to force him to open up so you can get an idea of what his personality is like. 

If you know the kid, then you can skip this step and move onto the third and final process of the pre-text-interpreting system.  Which is, "Find out his basic goal or incentive for texting you".  This may sound extremely ignorant, but at the core of every text message is some form of motivation for doing so, otherwise he wouldn't be texting you in the first place.  Consider, is this text a conversation starter? Is it a booty call? Is it just to stay in touch? Think about how far you want the conversation to go. 

So now you have the three basic steps to guide you through your boy's texts. Lets review the basic phrases men say that sometimes need a second glance.  If you get a text saying "Wat r u doing?" by itself without an introductory text saying "Hey" or "wats up?" it can mean a few things.  Again, keep in mind the time of day.  A "Wat r u doing" in the middle of the day on a weekday, could be either a very direct question, a proposition to meet up or walk to class, an inquisition to find out where you are so you could possibly do a favor for him, the list goes on.  But, if you get this text after 8 PM the possibilities narrow to a specific goal most likely benefitting him.  If you encounter the text "Wanna do something later?" this is most often associated with an activity or place to hang out where you can hook up.  It does not mean, go to get something to eat or hang out in public, unless he specifies otherwise.  "Wanting to do something later" is much different from asking, "Wat r u doing" or "wat r u doing later".  Those are more specific, and contain a more specific motive.  The more vague the text, the more he is trying to imply something sexual.  This is the 21st century college-mating dance.  Similarly, "Lets chill later tonight" also implies romantic actions, however notice that it is more specific, than "wanna do something?"  By communicating the act of "chilling" he implies that his intentions involve hanging out and actually exchanging in some conversation rather than just a booty call.  Another nice thing to hear from a guy on a Saturday night is "Can't wait to see you later tonight".  Don't get freaked out if you think this comes on as too clingy or attached.  If you get this text while you're getting ready to go out, it usually means he plans on seeing you out and might like you.  If you are already out then it implies, he probably wants to hookup later.

Now that you have the big phrases covered pay attention to the small things he says to not get the wrong idea.  Girls often use singular words like "Fine, K, Good, Ok, Alright, Night..." as deep metaphors for resentment in the decision coming from the other side of the phone.  Understand that when a guy says these words, they don't always mean they are upset with you.  Men are notoriously lazy.  For him, the less words the better, especially when ending a conversation.  So if you get a conversation ender with any of the aforementioned phrases, don't fear; it's probably just because he's too lazy to type a more lengthy response. 

Other conversation-ending remarks up for misinterpretation include "Go have fun with your friends", or "k ttyl" (talk to you later for the layman).  When did these once genuine goodbyes turn into hidden messages of guilt and attitude?  Just keep in mind ladies, that maybe, just maybe, that guy on the other side of the mobile device is actually telling you to go have fun with your friends, and he is planning on talking to you later.  However, depending on the guy and the conversation, these theories could be null and void and he might in fact be showing you some sort of attitude.  However, these are minority cases.  

Now your set to text clear-headed with your man and not be confused by his intentions.  Remember the three steps to male-text-interpreting.  What time is it? Who am I talking to? What does he want from me? Best of luck with your 21st century mating dance.

  


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