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Sexual Healing: Must Modifications for Oral Sex

By Rachael Shockey
On March 24, 2011

Oral sex is typically regarded as the gift to top all others, but it comes with all sorts of obstacles and tribulations - jaws get sore and tired, things get too dry, things get too slimy, the giver runs a risk of choking or suffocating. At times like these, giving good, non-life-threating oral sex can seem as complicated as caring for a Furby, which is an inarguably unsexy brand of invigorating activity. If you find yourself dreading giving oral sex, it's probably time to look into different positions, techniques and accessories to make it easier on you. The following are tips highlighted in Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright's "The Best Sex Ever: His Guide to Going Down," and its counterpart, "The Best Sex Ever: Her Guide to Going Down." The popular sexologist and professor provides smart, affordable modes of modification and enhancement to transform oral sex into a gift that gives back. For cunnilingus, a posture-relieving position.

Fulbright calls it Bottom's Up. Your receiver lays on a couch, with plenty of pillows under their neck, and their bottom half hanging off the couch. You kneel on the floor in front, and pull the receiver's legs over your shoulders. At this point, the vulva should be about at eye-level, allowing you to reach more parts of the vulva than in more horizontal positions. "Airborne genitals feel freer," Fulbright writes in "His Guide to Going Down," explaining how this position allows the receiver to potentially experience new sensations. In addition, it keeps the giver's face freer and at a more natural angle, offering solutions to common neck pains and breathing challenges of oral sex.

"Place your hands under her bum for added support," suggests Fulbright, for those who may struggle carrying their partner's weight on their shoulders. Once issues of balance are sorted out, this surprisingly functional position may become your go-to.

For fellatio, a gag-free novelty.

It's a wonder that Head Candy products aren't more well-known, for they provide a vastly more comfortable and pleasurable experience for both parties. The Head Candy Gum Job is a soft candy mouth guard (most retailers compare it to gummy candy), sold in four-packs that range from $5 to $10.

"This oral sex enhancement reduces jaw fatigue, protects your lover's loins from your teeth, and prevents dry mouth while increasing pleasure for the giver and receiver," Fulbright writes in "Her Guide to Going Down." Head Candy produces the comparable "Clitoral Kiss," which looks the same, only with a notch in the front that allows for direct contact with the clitoris. For all mouth-to-crotch encounters.

The Lube.

In porn, we see actors unabashedly spitting on each other's junk to keep things running smoothly during oral sex. Not everyone finds this sexy, but not everyone wants to try gooey, sticky lubes as an alternative. Worries of making a mess can, of course, distract one from enjoying oral sex. Unfortunately, the flavored lubricants marketed specifically for oral sex are the ones that most often render complaints of stickiness. The ingredients used to flavor said lubes also put a vagina at risk of contracting a yeast infection. What's a sexually generous college student to do? There are ups and downs for all lubricating options, but your best bet is water-based lube.

"Water-based lubes tend to be the most user-friendly, i.e. non-irritating, and easy to clean, overall," Fulbright writes in "Her Guide to Going Down." While it's thinner and dries faster than something like a silicone-based lubricant, it feels less gunky and gross because of its consistency, and it's easier to wash off. It's also safe to use with a wide variety of condoms.

The Toy.

Adding vibrations and new textures to oral sex can be exciting, but finding a comfortable means to introduce these to your own sex life can be challenging. Many sex and health experts suggest humming while going down on your partner, but plenty of people fall flaccid at the idea of turning a blow job into an awkward, gaggy musical. Opting for a slip-on tongue vibrator is still bold, but at least it won't bring back memories of your younger sibling trying to tell you about their day while eating a popsicle. The highly rated Screaming O LingO tongue ring is marked at $5.15 at "The form-fitting design fits any tongue and is dotted with pleasure bumps for enhanced sensation," the retailers write. It's made of stretchy material, and each toy provides 40 minutes of battery life. The price makes this one a relatively accessible prop for college students to sample.

It may not be easy to tell your partner that you want to wear a gummy mouth guard while you blow them, or that you want to turn them upside-down on the couch for cunnilingus. But as always, it takes guts to make sex good. If you want your sex life to get better, it's crucial to take responsibility for it (and ideally, your partner will follow suit).

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