Unlearning Freshman Year

Credit: Stephanie Moyle '26

There is a quiet hum through the freshman dorms that tells you how to be accepted by the invisible authority of college life. From the minute a new class of fresh-faced 18-year-olds arrives on campus, they are met with unspoken rules, social dos and don’ts, and dress codes. 

Each year, however, the voice that tells freshmen their college experience is controlled by an undefined social power grows quieter. Eventually, it becomes hard to imagine you ever reinforced such a concept.

Social fulfillment and belonging are some of the most comforting feelings for humans, but especially for freshmen in college. Frequenting the dining hall or other favorite campus locations in large groups is a common practice at universities across the country. It’s part of freshman survival mode, which also includes attending events and gatherings when you would rather be elsewhere or asleep.

Sophomore year brings its own set of challenges, like more personalities living in a shared space. Then comes the semester abroad during junior year, which has the potential to turn your world on its axis and shift your perspective of your college bubble.

Returning to campus after traveling the world and living and learning in a foreign environment challenges the steadfast belief that college norms are mandatory. After creating routines and personal “norms,” it becomes abundantly clear that your time in college should be about what actually works for you, as opposed to the version you feel pressured to adhere to.

These upperclassmen epiphanies may manifest in many ways. It’s time to weed out the bad friends. Cooking sounds better than eating out tonight. It might be more efficient to study in your room rather than the living room. Your workout is faster when you go to McCann alone.

Senior year brings melancholic feelings about all the people, habits, favorite activities and routines you’ve watched come and go. Most importantly, the voice that said there was only one way to enjoy college is now silent. For a moment, the stillness is liberating until time becomes the loudest force in the room. When it becomes finite, performing for a crowd that was never watching closely anyway feels foolish. The fear is no longer missing out, but running out.

While conversations about the changes young adults experience in college are often riddled with vague language like “finding yourself” and “coming into your own,” the transformation is far more subtle. While it may have taken the seismic shift of studying abroad to figure out what you wanted your college experience to look like, the realization may also have happened after you began walking away from things you once chased.

Cooking more often or confidently going to the gym alone may feel like habits not worthy of much reflection, as they’re simply representative of growing older. These habits, however, signal autonomy over a chapter in your life that was once governed by that quiet hum.