Parasocial Celebrity Relationships: It’s Time to Break Up

Image of 'Jelena' - Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez - posing at the 2010 MTV Awards.

Whether you refer to it as “superfandom” or being a “die hard” supporter, fan obsession with the lives of celebrities is a concept hardly unfamiliar to today’s young adult generation. But most recently, the ever-increasing popularity of Tiktok is providing another space for fans to fuel their obsessions with their favorite big names. This obsession appears to be reaching an all-time high. A recent NPR podcast marked 2022 as a height year for seeing what was once regarded as celebrity gossip transition to mainstream news. This leads many to wonder: are we in too deep as celebrity fans? 

There are many things to be said about our parasocial relationships with celebrities. First and foremost, it is essential that we call it precisely as it is - parasocial. Completely and totally one-sided. The vast majority of us serve consumer roles when it comes to any information we gather about their lives, and those we seek constant updates on likely have no idea who we are. Yet between the strength of response to popular scandals and the amount of physical and mental energy devoted to staying connected to these people’s lives, you would think these celebrities are our best friends. 

Personally, I possess the wholehearted take that as a generation we are far too invested in the behaviors of people we have never interacted with. There is a fine line between loving someone’s work and their contributions to the world and remotely inserting yourselves as far into their personal lives as possible – especially on the romantic end. Celebrity worship syndrome is real, and more and more people have become victims of this obsessive-addictive disorder than they realize. There is nothing inherently wrong with wanting to be in the know about the lives of the people you look up to. The problem arises in the hateful behaviors that are birthed from that knowledge. 

For a modern example, let's take a look at the response to what is arguably the top celebrity couple scandal at the moment: The Justin, Selena and Hailey Drama. To keep a long story short, celebrities Hailey Bieber and Kylie Jenner faced mass backlash after posting an image to their Instagram that appeared to make fun of commentary made by Selena Gomez regarding her eyebrows. In retaliation, devoted fans of Gomez took to social media platforms to call out Beiber for her long-standing “mean girl” personality, also taking the opportunity to criticize her current marriage to pop star Justin Bieber. 

In response to the ordeal, Hailey has now lost over 1 million followers on Instagram with her comments section flooded with hate from both avid “Team Selena” and “Jelena” fans – referring to those who support Gomez’s former relationship with Bieber from 2010-2018. Despite Gomez speaking out against the hatred, fans have continued to air their negativity on all of Hailey and Justin’s platforms. On Tiktok, videos criticizing Hailey and drawing comparisons between her and Selena’s online interviews, looks, etc. have reached a viral amount of likes, views and searches. Over time it appears the ‘Selener’ movement’s focus has shifted from active support of Gomez to fully condemning the Bieber family. 

I’m not saying there is no validity to this situation, or that there is no blame to be assigned. I am only saying that the excessively hateful response to it all is incredibly revealing of our obsessive tendencies as a generation. A 2004 study analyzing celebrity worship syndrome determined a link between intense, personal involvement with a celebrity’s life and poor mental health. 

Truthfully, it is our idolization and desire for the lives of these people we love that heightens the insecurities we have within our own lives – making it easier to develop strong, obsessive tendencies about the things they say and do. Diverting your attention to someone else takes the attention off of you and attaches it to that person, which at an intense level simply is not healthy. It’s much easier to air out your insecurity in a TikTok comment section than grapple with your own personal issues. Why do you think people opt to gossip about the people they hate rather than confront them? 

The Bieber-Gomez drama is only the latest in the celebrity couple world and will no doubt be replaced with another raging scandal in the coming weeks. As it plays out, I highly recommend taking a careful assessment of the role you play in your favorite couple’s lives and depending on how involved you are, take a step back. For now, please remember that the next time you rush to leave a hateful comment on a Hailey Beiber edit, there is a higher probability you’ll get struck by lightning tomorrow than there is of her, Justin or Selena having the slightest idea you exist. Choose kindness, preserve your energy and take a walk instead.