Bons Mots: Age Isn't Just A Number, It’s Also A Word
A cartoon on existentialism drawn by Max Hochberg '25. Drawing from Max Hochberg '25.
A “bon mot” is French for “a witty remark.”
A Viking is violent by nature: a bloodied axe peels through an abdomen.
A politician is deceptive by nature: a senator buys the last cigar before outlawing tobacco.
An artist is nostalgic by nature: a filmmaker creates a film about a filmmaker making a film.
I myself am naughty by nature: hip-hop hooray.
-Max
I’ve noticed that my life has become constant nostalgia, reflecting on moments that feel too present to reflect on. Moments that I don’t even realize will become things that I think back on fondly. I’ve started to become nostalgic for the moments that I’m currently living. I’m like the Schrödinger's cat of memory.
-Kyle
It’s strange that firefights are more common with policemen than firefighters.
-Max
Michael Bay To Direct “Roth” for A24; Eric Roth Penning Script
Michael Bay, director of action epics like the “Transformers” series, “The Rock” and “Bad Boys,” is teaming with A24 on a biopic about Eric Roth. Roth himself is said to be writing the script.
The film will follow Roth during the writing process of 1995’s Best Picture Winner “Forrest Gump,” for which Roth also won Best Adapted Screenplay.
In the film, which’ll supposedly run for around two hours and 45 minutes, Roth is said to be sitting at his desk for the entirety of the film, occasionally sipping coffee and deleting lines, saying stuff like “No that’s not right” and “‘Life is like a box of chocolates?’ ‘Life IS a box of chocolates.’ Hmmm… maybe… ‘Life is a box, and there are chocolates.’”
Sources close to Bay say this will be the most intimate film of his career. I've also been hearing from insider sources that Leonardo DiCaprio will play Roth.
-Kyle
A List of Fun Things Humans Do
Saying: “Are you going to eat that?”
Hitchhiking
Hot dog vending
The wrap-up of a phone call
Tucking a pencil behind one's ear
Shoeshines
Moving furniture
Knocking on a door
Kick me signs
Landscaping
Smoking whilst using a typewriter
Rotary phones
Ties
Backwards hats
Arguing with the umpire during a baseball game
Speeches
Singing happy birthday
Sleeping on a train with a hat over one’s eyes
-Max
Two Truths and a Lie
I have crippling anxiety.
I’ve had issues with depression my entire life.
I had a walk-off grand slam in the World Series.
Two Lies and a Truth
Tupac once told me I’m the greatest rapper alive.
I invented the Red Solo Cup.
I have a first name and a last name.
A Half-Truth, a Half-Lie, and an Exaggeration
I’ve deliberately been leaving weed-infused cheese cubes in a container marked “FREE” in my apartment’s communal fridge.
I found the cure for cancer, but because I have an ongoing bet with my buddy - a bet in which he believes I’m not physically capable of doing anything meaningful unless it leads to profit - I had to throw it away.
My life is awesome.
-Kyle
“Listen, the game is the same as it’s always been. Every time I get out there, I’m trying my best. Moving forward, there are some adjustments that need to be made. I feel next week could turn out differently and hopefully will be a turning point for the season.”
-Postgame interview with Charlie Brown after yet again missing the kick
-Max
I love to write, but every time I try to do it, I get distracted by stuff. Stuff online, catchy headlines, NBA scores, shopping for clothes. I want to sit down and just do it. But I can’t. I can’t do anything without getting DISTRACTED! My characters aren’t compelling. My storylines are bland. It’s really an exercise in futility. I swear, If I see one more writer that.
-Kyle